About this time every year, those who dread searching for a new job will undoubtedly share the thoughts of “waiting” until the holidays are over to job search. The notion of conducting a search while family gatherings abound can add an extra layer to stress, and it’s very tempting to call it a day and put the resume up until the New Year begins.
The misconception with the “waiting” strategy is that you, along with a million of your closest friends, will all be restarting their search right along with you. The truth is the holidays can be the best time of the year to meet new people; however, for those who are uncomfortable with networking, it can be one more reason to wait until the festivities are over.
Managing your networking challenges begins by taking the sting out of networking by understanding the purpose; you are meeting others to find what you share in common, forming business connections and contacts through informal social meetings.
If networking is difficult for you, make it a goal not to let discomfort keep you from meeting new people. It’s important to know you are not alone; listed below are common networking challenges and the strategies for managing holiday gatherings.
• Discomfort with meeting new people – People usually avoid meeting others for fear that will say something awkward and create a tense moment. What would happen if awkwardness occurred? Truthfully, you would probably feel embarrassed and the other person would move on mingling with others, forgetting what took place. When you feel discomfort, always ask yourself “What is the worst thing that could happen to me?”
• Fear of rejection – Rejection is often a result of personalizing your situation, or believing that when someone acts disinterested or says “no” to you, they are rejecting you as a person. Rejection is more of a feeling than a reality. One of the best cures of rejection is to get your mind off of you and instead focus your energy on the other person by being interested in them.
• Be yourself – Quit comparing your communication style to others. It helps to have some small talk questions prepared in advance to help start conversations. Keep questions open ended where you learn about the other person, most likely you will find common ground that leads to more rapport.
• Job Titles – When you are between jobs it can be challenging to talk about job titles, and this alone can keep people from meeting others at parties. Don’t let job titles be an intimidation factor, get behind the title and talk with the person. Even if job titles come up during the conversation, talk about your interests rather than what you did in the past.
• Looking weak – What does weakness look like? Look around you– who looks weak? Weakness is another personal thought process that keeps you from succeeding and meeting wonderful, helpful people.
• Mind-reading – “Mindreading” is more detrimental to networking than any other potential challenge. Mindreading is an emotional protection for the purpose of rejecting others before they have a chance to say “no” to you. An unproductive mental game that leaves you guessing who could be helpful and who would be interested in you.
• Suffering from terminal uniqueness – Your belief that you are the only one for whom the networking process doesn’t work. However, it does work for millions of people and it will work for you, too. When you meet new people you are opening yourself up to all kinds of possibilities, you are much more likely to hear of job opportunities than you otherwise would have missed or forming a good friendship.
Practice starting conversations with a smile and positive attitude. Managing networking challenges through the holidays can be a rewarding experience and could be the start of a new future.
