In a job search, being genuine is crucial in building rapport and credibility with others. This is never truer than in the networking arena where you are reaching out to meet others and to get reacquainted.
For job candidates who are in the midst of developing their communication style with others, asking thoughtful questions ahead of time such as “Tell me about your career,” or “What made you choose your field of interest?” usually leads to a good discussion where the focus is on learning more about the person.
Building good rapport will not always lead to a job opportunity; however, it will lay the foundation of a relationship. Job seekers often struggle between the need to meet new people and conveying a genuine interest.
One of reasons why networking often gets a bad rap is the insincerity that takes place when forming a relationship. Most people can spot a job seeker a mile away who pretends to be interested versus than being interested.
A good example occurred several months ago at a networking event in which two professionals were exchanging questions about career choices when halfway through the conversation one of them interrupted the other to acknowledge a senior executive walking in the room. The abrupt interruption left the discussion hanging in the air, which gave the impression of “pretending to be interested.”
No doubt meeting new people others plays a part of networking; however, if you approach your meetings base on quality versus quantity, you’ll have a richer exchange of information. Having 10 good conversations is worth more than meeting 100 contacts who you barely know and possibly won’t remember their names.
So how do you develop the skill of being interested rather than pretending to be interested?
Dr. Goulston, author of “Just Listen,” acknowledges the power of being interested rather than faking interest to build rapport. He suggests that instead of “thinking about conversations as a tennis match, try thinking of them as a detective game, where your goal is to gather as much information about the other person as you can.” Start your meetings with the attitude of knowing there is something interesting about the person and be determined to discover it.
Here are some questions that demonstrate the skill of “being interested”:
Tell me about how you got into (field of interest)?
What do you like best about it?
What are you trying to accomplish that’s important to you in your career?
What makes that important to you?
Lastly, develop the habit of ending your conversations by summarizing what the other person is saying; this not only conveys a genuine attitude but one that shows you are truly listening.
While the number of people you meet in your job search matters, never forget that some things never change and the quality of listening genuinely to another person always will make a lasting impression.
Are you able to tell when someone is pretending to be interested versus being genuine?
