When the topic of interviewing is often mentioned among job candidates, you tend to receive a mixed bag of opinions. Some view an interview as an interrogation of sorts, while others look at it as a way to “get the job.” In either case both miss the opportunity to develop a good conversation.
While you may not be guilty of intentionally talking at an interviewer, the adrenaline rush that comes with an invitation to meet a potential employer is enough to cause job candidates to confuse the two terms.
The terminology “talking with” or “talking at” can appear interchangeable at times when discussing communication skills, yet both of them are completely different in tone and perception.
If you have ever had a boss talking at you, chances are high you remember the feeling after you left. You may not recall word by word what was being said but years later can remember how they made you feel. The same holds true to a boss talking with you; you’ll always remember the impression made during the meeting.
Most job candidates who concentrate on talking at the interviewer with their own agenda in mind focuses on the wrong strategy. Placing your concentration on selling your candidacy will leave an unforgettable negative impression rather than building the rapport that sets you apart from the competition.
The differences between the candidates who soar to the next level in the interview process compared to those who are not invited back are directly related to their communication skills.
Talking at an interviewer resembles a conversation in which you tell the interviewer what you want them hear rather than taking into account their reactions, needs or input. When you talk at someone you quit listening.
Practicing for interviews is a must however don’t make the mistake of relying too heavily on a prepared script of what you want to convey to the employer with the sole intention of landing a job. When your attention is on getting the job, it is easy to dismiss the conversation as small talk.
Receiving a job offer is the end results of a good interview however before you get there you need to know what the employer expects and if their needs match your interests. Talking with someone sends a message that you care about their point of view and their needs. Think of an interview as your No. 1 chance to understand the employer and their goals long before a job offer is discussed.
Interviewing is not a one-way street of performing and convincing, but rather a dialogue for exploration.
So how do you know if you are talking at the interviewer rather than with them? Look at their non-verbal language and how well you are connecting with them through questions and answers.
If you are doing all the talking, chances are you on the fringe of talking at them. Slow down, stop and use this simple acronym to assess your communication: WAIT, or “why am I talking?” If you can’t find a good reason for why you are talking, you are probably sending a message of talking at someone rather than with them.
If you were going to give a definition of talking at an interviewer versus with them, how would you describe the difference?
