Ask a shy person to attend a networking event and you are likely to receive a litany of excuses. The discomfort of meeting people first-hand and experiencing new opportunities to advance their career can be so overwhelming that choosing to stay silent is often their best strategy.
Talented professionals lose great opportunities and job offers go to less-skilled candidates who are better at communicating with others. However, you don’t always have to attend parties or industry functions, wearing a name tag and meeting every hiring decision maker possible in order to succeed at networking.
No doubt that technology has definitely influenced the way we interact with one another making it possible to work on projects without ever leaving the office. The advantages of using social media and technology to connect with one another far outweigh the disadvantages. However, for the person who is shy, staying isolated behind a computer screen just got easier.
The latest research suggests that approximately 48 percent of the population struggles with shyness to some degree and even more so with the ease in which technology has changed our interactions. The awkwardness in communicating face-to-face becomes more pronounced as our work habits change toward fast answers with less personal interaction.
Being shy is not the same thing as being introverted, even though the characteristics can look similar to outsiders. Those who struggle with shyness tend to have an ongoing dialogue in their head based on situations that took place in the past or what could happen in the future, whereas introverts are not always shy; rather, they are more energized when meeting a few people instead of a crowd, choosing solitude.
A shy person’s lack of attention on the present often creates the awkwardness that happens when trying to keep a conversation moving when meeting new people. With thoughts of doom and gloom taking place, even the strongest extrovert would have a tough time communicating their value and interest in another person.
The good news is that being shy does not have to cripple your life or block your career goals any longer. While you may always feel some discomfort around new surroundings and people; it doesn’t have to keep you stuck.
Struggling to pretend you are outgoing when you are not only adds to your stress level; instead of trying to follow networking strategies for those more comfortable around others, use a plan that works for you.
Here are some tried and true methods of working through shyness and becoming a successful networker:
1. Start with who you know. Shy people form really strong bonds with those they trust. Instead of trying to force yourself to schmooze, focus on talking with those who know you best. Ask for their feedback and practice answering and asking questions.
2. Agree to attend an event with a friend but make an agreement ahead of time that both of you will mingle amongst the group. Bringing a friend strategy works as a source of encouragement; however, if you just talk to them you will miss the purpose.
3. Use social online networks to introduce yourself and slowly generate conversations. Joining a group online affords you the opportunity to listen first and then respond.
4. Take baby steps toward broadening your networking circle. Don’t set expectations so high that you leave an event feeling like a failure because you should have met 10 people when you only talked to three.
5. Unravel the power of shyness by understanding it. With close to half the population feeling the same way, chances are high you are meeting another shy person who is taking a risk by meeting you.
How has shyness affected your career? What networking strategies for you?
