A couple of weeks ago, a job candidate was describing to me how many interviews he was receiving compared to other candidates with similar backgrounds. In fact, he had a total of six interviews whereas others with the same credentials, education and experience were struggling to get just one. Why is that?
What did this particular candidate do to receive so many interviews with offers pending versus those who are just as eager to work come up empty handed? The answer is often taken for granted and is something everyone can develop – charisma.
This candidate developed a natural approach that influenced hiring decision makers during their conversations. In other words, when he left an interview the employer was thinking about how to hire him rather than wait for more candidates.
Charisma is one of the most powerful skills you can develop over your career and the good news is you can start developing it anytime. The key is what to look for and the steps to take in building the muscles of charisma.
In the book “The Charisma Myth”, author Olivia Fox Cabane offers advice on three core areas associated with developing charisma; presence, power and warmth. When these core areas are combined with body language, words and behavior the essence of charisma naturally flows.
Take the first core area of presence, the one that sets the tone for how well you perceive a person’s interest and their genuine appeal to you. Cabane states, “You can’t fake presence” even though you may think you can fake listening it doesn’t work because when you are not fully present during an interaction people will see it.
Cabane’s notion that you can’t fake listening reminded me of a conversation with a candidate who told me how their perception of a company completely changed during lunch after being influenced by a senior manager who invited them for an informal interview.
The most striking impression was the body language the manager sent by asking the candidate a good question then scanning the restaurant for people they knew. To the candidate it was a direct sign they were not listening or were mentally present during lunch. They were simply going through the motions of pretending to listen.
Cabane describes presence as a learnable skill and is crucial in building rapport and connection with another person, when you are perceived as disingenuous, it’s almost impossible to generate trust.
That’s exactly what happened during the candidate’s lunch meeting, the company was interesting and produced a great product however the senior manager did not seem trustworthy as a result the candidate left the meeting disappointed with a negative impression.
Presence can be developed with a few simple exercises such as; shifting your focus if your mind begins to wonder, utilizing mindfulness, being aware of your breathing and getting back to focusing on the other person.
During an interview or networking meetings the ability to be fully present helps you stand out from the crowd and sends a charismatic tone that is memorable.
The last two core areas; power and warmth can be big influencers on how people perceive you as well. Naturally power is often associated with title or wealth however the clues of power can come from different sources.
Power is often perceived in your appearance, other’s reactions to a person and body language. For example, we instinctively change our assumptions towards people when we see them dressed in expensive clothing and their nonverbal language.
Warmth can be described as goodwill towards others and can be seen as; altruistic, caring, willing to impact the world in a positive way and benevolent. The surprise is that warmth is perceived almost entirely through body language and behavior. According to Cabane, warmth is evaluated more directly than power.
While a person who is powerful but not warm can be somewhat impressive they usually aren’t perceived as charismatic and can come across as arrogant, cold and self-serving. Equally as important is someone who shows warmth without power. They can be likable but not necessarily perceived as charismatic rather overeager, subservient or desperate to please.
If charisma is missing from your conversations with others, it’s not too late to start. You can begin building it now by combing all three areas; presence, power and warmth during your interactions.
Even if you are shy you can become more charismatic by being present during conversations through showing interest, asking questions and intentionally listening. Small changes can be more effective than you realize with practice and awareness.
Developing charisma during your job search could be the difference between receiving six interviews and struggling to get just one.
How would you describe charisma and how has it helped you during your career?
