Networking is one of my favorite topics to discuss when talking about career moves. The mere mention of the word will either divide a room or bring everyone together with the same sentiments. It’s a love-hate relationship that most people have when needing to network.
Even if you enjoy meeting people and exchanging information, it appears to be an element of “brown-nosing” that occurs when you focus on your needs rather than learning about other people.
Yet you network all the time throughout your daily activities while you go about taking care of business or attending a little league game of baseball you are among people who have a common interest. The big difference between passive networking at a game and attending a professional association is your mindset toward it.
When you gather socially with people outside of a “what’s in it for me” attitude there is a tendency to be more authentic rather than a mindset of having to be there to meet people. It’s the same reason why an accountant once described networking as a painful experience in dreading to have to talk about her job situation.
Having to network seems to put you in a disadvantage emotionally because you can dwell on the consequences of what might happen if you don’t network such as never finding a job. One of the best examples of a desperate need to network is when a job seeker bursts into a networking group and instantly started handing out business cards. While everyone in the group felt empathy toward her in wanting to work, handing out a business card unsolicited to each member left them feeling awkward and for the job seeker it must have given her a sense that she networked.
We are all familiar with the importance of networking as well as the awkwardness of feeling as though you need too. Researchers Tiziana Casciaro, Francesca Gina and Maryam Kouchaki conducted numerous studies regarding networking, and found that professionals who view networking as distasteful and avoided the activity all together had less billable hours than their peers.
Their study confirms the notion that networking can feel dirty and as a result you can miss a lot of opportunity. The most effective way to network is changing your mindset from it being distasteful to one of authenticity.
Here are some suggestions from their research about how learning about networking and changing your mindset towards it can make your networking activities more effective.
• Make it a goal to focus on learning rather than seeing it as a prevention activity. The researchers based this on their studies that confirmed two types of thinking most professionals had when faced with networking; promotion or prevention. Those who had a promotion mindset wanted to network because they were curious and open about the all possibilities that might occur. Those with a prevention mindset saw networking as a necessary evil and felt phony.
• Identify common interests in order to make networking more pleasant. When your networking is formed by shared interests it tends to feel more genuine and meaningful, the two ingredients that build relationships.
• Think in terms of what you can give. Let’s say you are going to an event where there will be a lot of senior leaders and where getting to know them better could be a huge plus for you. Rather than feeling intimidated in terms of experience or titles, think more in terms of what you can give to them. When you network with an attitude of giving it seems less self-promotional and makes it more significant.
Next time you are faced with a networking opportunity choose to see it as way to grow and boost your knowledge by focusing on the positive aspects. Wanting to meet others gives you more power and takes the focus off of your needs and toward learning about them.
Describe your love-hate relationship with networking. How do you look at it now?
