When communication skills are mentioned with career development, most people think in terms of how you communicate your value or interests. And that’s true to a degree. Your ability to convey information and build rapport is what often sets you apart from others.
It has been said that listening is one of the most neglected aspects of communicating and behind every good conversation is a good listener. How so? Good listeners know that it takes a matter of seconds to form a good impression and it starts with remembering people’s names.
How many times have you met a person and had a wonderful conversation, only to forget their name the next time you see them? It happens all the time, especially when there is pressure to make a good impression.
A job search is the perfect combination of desire to make a good impact on those you meet while focusing on your answers and questions. For example, take networking meetings where you are apt to meet dozens of people within a short amount of time coupled with the possibility of meeting your future boss.
It helps to understand why people forget names in the first place – usually a lack of focus. Oftentimes when trying to make a lasting impression during a networking event or job interview, people tend to put the focus on themselves instead of the other person. Energy toward speculating what the other person is thinking or the clever comments you want to make keep you distracted from listening.
Another mistake people make during networking events is attending them with self-focused goals, meaning they are there to get information to help advance their career. Truth be told, it’s difficult to actively listen and be self-focused at the same time. The underlying power of networking is the give and take element of exchange that forms a relationship.
When you forget a person’s name you end up sending a message they aren’t that important to you, in other words their background, needs and goals are just not interesting. Don Gabor, recognized as a small-talk expert and communications trainer suggests a short five second strategy for remembering names of people you meet.
1. Focus on the moment of introduction. Smile and make eye contact acknowledging their presence by offering a handshake.
2. Listen for their name. Forget about what you are going to say and the impression you hope to make. Your total focus is on their name. If you are having difficulty hearing their name or challenges in pronouncing it ask them to repeat it for you with the expressed interest in wanting to get it right.
3. Repeat the name aloud. Saying their name out loud gives you a chance to recall it, sends a message that you care and forces you to remember how to pronounce it.
4. Think of someone you know with the same name. It helps to connect their name with a familiar person who you have met in the past and know who shares the same name; a relative, friend, classmate or co-worker.
5. Use the name during and at the end of the conversation. This is the key in having names stick in your memory and create a lasting impression when closing the conversation.
The real benefit in remembering names is the feeling conveyed to the other person that you care and they are important enough for you to call them by name. You’ll not only send a good impression but also lay the foundation of making a friend.
How do you remember names of people you meet?
