Have you ever felt like it was more difficult than pulling teeth to get positive feedback from your boss? That’s exactly what it felt like for one employee who recently transferred out of a department to new one with a different manager. “There was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders knowing that I didn’t have to face my old boss every day. The disapproval coming from him made my life miserable,” he said.
Working for a boss you can’t seem to please creates external and internal stress. It seems the more focused you are on making your boss happy, the more likely your work performance will suffer. It’s like a merry-go-round — putting more energy toward not making mistakes leads to making more mistakes. Trying to avoid a conflict with your boss leads to self-doubt and can shake your confidence.
The employee who had an opportunity to change departments was fortunate, because he moved to a more-positive environment, but if you have to stay where you are, there are some actions you can take to make your work environment more enjoyable.
Start by identifying the problem: Is it personality conflicts, different communication or management styles or unrealistic expectations? There are some things, such as your boss’s personality, you can’t change. You can, however, change your reaction. You can change the way you communicate, develop an understanding of your bosses’ management style and discuss expectations instead of guessing at what pleases him.
Take a look at how well you are communicating with your boss. Too often, employees will leave all the communicating to their boss rather than owning a portion of it. It’s a good idea to start implementing the art of managing up and down with your boss and colleagues. Don’t wait for your boss to come to you for updates.
Depending on the pace or culture of the organization, your boss may not always have the time to check in with you, so if you take the initiative to communicate with him regularly, you may alleviate some of the problems your boss is experiencing with your performance.
The lessons you learn from working with a hard-to-please boss can help you become more adaptable to different management styles. Look at working with this person as a challenge to grow and understand their point of view.
Self-talk is another way to keep your confidence from taking a hit in a challenging work environment. Although confidence comes from within, it is easy to let others influence us. Start getting involved with activities or projects that will strengthen your confidence level. Take ownership of those things you are responsible for, and let go of those things you cannot control.
The feedback you get from your boss, even if it is unpleasant at times, can lead to valuable insights. Over a period of time, you’ll be able to decide if your relationship with your boss can be turned around or if you need to move on to new opportunities.
Do you have a good relationship with your boss?
