Being genuine is crucial in building rapport and creditability when you’re looking for a job. This is never truer than in the networking arena where you are reaching out to meet others or become reacquainted.
For job seekers who are developing their communication style, asking all the right questions such as, “tell me about your background” or “what made you chose your field of interest” no doubt is important, but you can spot a job seeker who only pretends to be interested a mile away.
I recently read a chapter in Mark Goulston’s book, “Just Listen” that supports the importance of being interested rather than faking interest to build rapport.
A good example of this occurred several months ago at a networking event in which two professionals were exchanging questions about career choices when — halfway through the conversation — one of them interrupted the other to acknowledge a senior manager who walked in the room. The abrupt interruption left the conversation hanging and gave the perception the person was “pretending to be interested”.
While the goal of networking is to meet others, the quality of your contacts is the key. Having 10 good conversations is worth more than meeting 100 contacts you barely know and whose names you hardly remember.
How do you develop the skill of being interested rather than pretending to be interested?
Goulston suggests some good techniques that help redirect your interests when you are talking with others. Instead of thinking about conversation as a tennis match, try thinking of it as a detective game. Your goal is to gather as much information about the other person as you can, knowing there is something interesting about the person. Be determined to discover it.
Being interested requires that you ask questions aimed at generating these three responses: “I feel,” “I think” and “I did or would do … .” If the questions you ask get the other person to express all three of these responses, chances are you will convey interest and make the other person feel more satisfied.
Here are some questions that demonstrate the skill of being interested:
Tell me about how you got into (the field of interest)?
What do you like best about it?
What are you trying to accomplish in your career that’s important to you?
What makes that important to you?
Lastly, one of the easiest ways to communicate genuine interest is to summarize what the other person is saying. This conveys that you truly are listening.
These days, time is often limited, and the quality of genuinely listening to another person is missing. The fact is good listening skills will make a much bigger impact than you will ever know.
